Beginning in the middle

I spend a lot of time writing about my pain, how it affects me, whether I should keep putting it out there, and my conclusion is that if I feel up to writing, I will.  I’ll write what I know and sometimes it will be about my pain although, I’ve been wanting to write about experiences from before the pain and chronic illness took over everything.   All the things I've experienced, people I've met, my travels, my loves, my losses, everything that makes me ... ME.

This blogging thing…I stop, start, delete, put off, edit, and essentially don’t hit the publish button.  I want to try to stop that and begin finishing.  Start completing.   See what I did there?

There are some other things, stories that aren’t really my news to share, but yet they affect me.  I’ve been shredded thinking about ways around this and so far, I’ve not found any, so I’m going to do my best to not blow anyone’s identity or whatnot.  Maybe I should just tell you they are short fiction?

I’ve been in a lot of pain and that is the biggest reason I don’t complete things or why it takes so long to do something that it may take you to do in a few hours, a day, or whatever.  Sometimes when I share that I am doing something, like setting up the office desk and computer monitors, etc.  It will take a while until it’s done.  I get VERY happy when something is completed, so you’ll get the idea if I can do this on a regular basis.

I should mention is the unpredictability of my day to day.  I NEVER know how I’m going to wake up feeling and as you can probably imagine, this has wrecked my life.  It’s unthinkable to have to tell EVERY SINGLE PERSON you know, “I’m not sure”, whenever asked if I can do something the next day, the next week, or the next month.  It’s ridiculous.  I can’t even really say for certain that I will write every day, but what I can say is that I will try.  I’ll write a lot more about this I’m sure, because it infuriates me and I’m trying to find ways to cope.

So this is where I begin, somewhere in the middle, hoping to hit publish.  I’ll worry about the rest of the formatting later.  This is what it is.  Hopefully, some of you will find it inspiring, interesting, relatable, and maybe even funny.  I’m really very witty, when I’m having a good day!

Ok, hitting publish…